Accepting Change

I've never been one to willingly accept changes in my life. I like things organized, I like to know exactly what I'm going to be doing during the course of a day and I like my life stable.

However, as I get older, or more mature as some would put it, I now realize that accepting changes in your life can sometimes open new doors of happiness. Is it possible that one can get too settled in their life and realize only after the merry go round has stopped that they've lost the ability to grab on to the golden ring called life?

Last July when my mother was flirting with death, I realized that I was not the daughter that I promised to be in all the Hallmark cards that I had given her over the years. In fact, I was not the person that I thought I was at all anymore. A near death experience in a family can sometimes shake you into reality and question your life as you know it.

This is exactly what happened to me. This is when the word "Change" started to become a regular dream for me night after night. At first, the thought of change was more like a nightmare but after having some time to fully absorb the possibilities I realized that 'change' might be for the good.

Change can be scary, it can make people run in the opposite direction and turn their face on reality, but when push comes to shove, change can definitely turn your life around and most times for the better.

For me, I've made a significant amount of changes at once.

- I've finally become the daughter that my mother has wanted and I'm loving every minute of it.

- I quit a job that I was totally happy in for five years, but realized that it was because of this job that so many things needed to be changed in my life. I realized that my job came first in my life, rather than my family and my health. I've had many friends and family question my dedication to my job and in the past I've always told them, "it's fine, really, I can handle it", but when you wake up one day and your husband is asking 'where did my wife go?' and your daughters say, "are you ever going to be our mother again", one begins to wonder, where the time went and is this perfect job, really all that perfect?  

- I changed jobs and have a more flexible schedule, I'm free to be creative again and even better I get to eat lunch with my husband every day of the week! I'm home in a fair amount of time to prepare dinner, and have conversations with my daughter instead of conversing with her via texts and emails.

I've made some other changes in my life as well, namely with my blog. While I write about this and that, I also write about places I visit within my county and I also write some posts for payment so if you see some posts that are irregular for me to write, you'll understand why.  But, in the end, I write because I love to express my thoughts through words.

Changes are still to come..

I've got some changes planned in my gardens this season which I will document as soon as they are in process.

So, you see, for me, while I had resisted change for so long, I decided to open the doors to change and let it embrace me for all its worth. OK, it was a little scary at first as my life was beginning to feel like a comfy old slipper, but the slipper apparently didn't fit me anymore as my feet had grown into a mature woman who now realizes that change was the one word in my vocabulary that I had not used enough.. I'm just thankful that my family waited for me as long as they did to find it in the dictionary!